If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
