I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Randomize
