only if we run a train.
done.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize