I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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