my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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