How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
