there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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