Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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