Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
