No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize