please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
