god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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