I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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