Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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