a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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