She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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