So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
