Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize
