he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
