I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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