I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
