I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
