i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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