ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize