Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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