i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize