wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Randomize
