Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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