woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
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there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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