youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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