Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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