I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
