piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
