Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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