best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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