Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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