Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
