you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
