dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
