if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
