i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I need to align my fucking chakras
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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