what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize