Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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