on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
