Just cropdusted the office
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
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You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
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I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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