It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
