He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
where are you?
Hypothermia
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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