I don't think brook has ever known best
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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