Are we in a gay sports bar?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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