Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
