The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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