and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
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I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
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That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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