I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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