Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
