I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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