So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
