Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
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He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
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Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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