a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Please don't give away my fajitas
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