I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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