I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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