Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
