College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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