My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she smelled like a LAN party
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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