Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize