My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize