i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
